just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
