Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You're like the curious george of whores
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
