oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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