you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
