apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
