I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
