I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
FUCK WHALES
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
please don't ironically join a cult
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