I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
