Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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