u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
