So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
