Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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