google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
