my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
