She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize