We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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