The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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