I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize