six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
