thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
