I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize