nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
