In the future we'll all be gay
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
