Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
