I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
