Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
