remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
