They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
