omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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