since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize