$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
