They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize