Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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