Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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