i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
