I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
