who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
