She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
