i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
