It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize