Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
