Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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