I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize