he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You are a genius and a whore.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
