she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
