So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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