Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize