My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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