he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I need a burrito and a hug.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
