they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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