I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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