is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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