hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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