so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
