i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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