On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
