Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
