BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize