go do what you do best...puke behind churches
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
