You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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