They should really pass out barf bags in church
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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