Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
