Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
