I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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