We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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