All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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