He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
