my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
