So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i barfeds in our rink
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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