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• (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero

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• (801): View more from Utah

  let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  You went to jail last night?!

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  Just a little bit.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just blew my weed a kiss

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I sharted in my christmas pjs :(

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation

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• (863): View more from Florida

  They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.

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