Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
