Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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