hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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