I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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