It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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