I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
