I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
